Sep 30, 2021
The founder of the Center for Autism and Related Disorders answering viewer questions again about decision making, dealing with death, social skills and more! Check it out!
4:06 My friend and I both have autistic
sons. Both have problems when faced with making a decision or a
choice. They cannot select any of the options. Do you know what
could cause this & how to resolve it?
11:41 Hi Shannon, I’m so excited I get
to watch Dr. Doreen live today! I have a question. My baby boy is 8
½ yrs old now. Has been doing ABA since 5yrs old. Was diagnosed at
the age of 3.5 and I learned ABA techniques from I behavioral
training while we waited for ABA by a BCBA. His preschool was
supported by early childhood development. He only received 20 hrs a
week, once we were accepted by a BCBA and we had to fight for that.
He was minorly effected by autism but lost all language by the time
he was diagnosed. Fast forward to now, he’s doing great, and his
BCBA continues to cut his hours back. We are looking for out of
center events to expose him to, but don’t really know what
direction to go towards. His additional speech and OT are also
trying to reduce hours. We are users of skills for living, and have
been using that to continue to move the goal post and establish
more goals that seem to be overlooked. Lots of executive function,
conversation enders, savers, etc. Am I crazy to think they should
be worked on by both speech and ABA? I’m worried that things are
being cut back too early. Am I just being a control freak, or are
those categories in Skills supposed to all be completed? If so by
what age. I’ll add a photo. Thanks for all that you do and always
sending love and support!
20:20 How can I help my 11yr old son about death, he
mentions a lot that he wants all his family and himself to be alive
for ever, that he doesn’t want the world to explode. That he wants
the world to be ok. This has been going on for years. He says he
wants to stay a small boy; I once try to explain to him about death
and it was not good, he was very upset. Since then, I don’t know
how to address the death situation, but he asks me every few days
if the world and he’s family are going to be alive, please
help.
26:13 How do I make friends as an
autistic adult in college?
I (18F) am autistic and have recently started college. I
have moved to a different state, effectively leaving all of my
“safe things” behind (my home, my family and pets, my childhood
friends, favorite museums, restaurants, etc.). I have registered
with the school’s disability services to get the proper
accommodations. My sister (19F, NT*) attends the same school.
Things I am struggling with: I am entering the second month of the
semester, and have made no real friends. The only meaningful
conversations I have are with my sister, with every other
interaction being no more than greetings and goodbyes (yes, that
includes my roommate, whom I simply coexist with). I am not worried
about not having friends, but my parents and psychiatrist have
their reservations. I struggle on weekends due to the lack of
structure. It is when I feel most overwhelmed by work and other
duties and seemingly when my executive functioning deficits are the
most prominent. I have been experiencing meltdowns and despite
doing my best to implement structure into my weekend, without the
incentive to complete a task from another person, I have no
motivation to stay focused or even start tasks. There have been a
few times where I was able to be productive, but I had been
FaceTiming my father for several hours at a time while he
continuously reminded me of and talked me through tasks. My parents
are busy people and cannot afford to be on video chat for hours at
a time. TL;DR: Since starting college, I have made no friends, have
experienced meltdowns on weekends due to lack of structure, and
consistently struggle to complete tasks independently. Questions:
How do I make friends as an autistic person in college? Do I even
need to make friends to have a successful college career? How can I
implement structure into my weekends? How do I become more
independent when managing my schedule and tasks? What are some
suggestions that would help my further my success in college as an
autistic person?
35:48 Hey
everyone! So, this will be a bit longer, but I still hope to fit
everything in as shortly as possible. I was made aware I may have
ADHD and Autism around 2 years ago by my now ex-girlfriend. ADHD
didn't seem too farfetched, since my brother has a diagnosis 8-9
years ago. With Autism I rejected the idea, well because of
ableism. I am 27 and live in Germany. It's quite complicated to get
a diagnosis as an adult here and also have the insurance pay for
it. I fortunately found a University Clinic which did exactly that,
but even though I called there in early January, the earliest
appointment was today. The complete year of 2020 I was informing
myself, reading books, diagnosis manuals I gobbled down everything
I could find. After a while I accepted that I may have Autism also.
The amount of hurdles to get appointments for both diagnosis did
seem insurmountable, but somehow I managed and I was excited for
both at last. In May my newfound psychiatrist did diagnose me with
ADHD and I am on medication since then, which helps a lot. But
there is this percentage of my perception differences, the way I
take specific hurdles and how I cope with this neurotypical world
which does not align with ADHD. Or so I thought. The appointment
wasn't really short (2 hours total talking time), she even called
in a colleague for 10-15 min. In the end she said I don't have
Autism, but emotional problems, yadayada, I should do therapy
(which I am searching for since January independently, because yes
I do have fucking emotional problems). I was taken aback and tried
to argue to get why she has this opinion. Then she started
retelling some details of our talk, but in a manner I felt weren't
really what I wanted to tell her. Like she asked me if my family
was rational, and I told her yes very much, but she construed it
that my family is cold and that there is pressure to be something
(because my father is an orthopedic doctor) but this is not what I
meant. My family is very emotional, loving and caring; too much for
my liking or everyones good. One of the reasons I do get checked
out at that late age is, because my parents never saw a bad thing
in being different, they saw it as a badge of honor! So they
dismissed all the teachers and acquaintances who said I am not
normal. I purposefully didn't check what the diagnostic criteria
for Autism are in the last few months to not prime myself to get
that diagnosis. I thought the doctor will ask the right and precise
questions to get the answers which are relevant. After coming home
and being disappointed, furious and very very confused, I
researched the diagnostic criteria again and found that she never
even asked my about my perception or even those very specific
questions my psychiatrist asked my in my ADHD diagnosis back in
May. I am questioning so much at the moment and would really like
to hear your stories. If you had similar situations. I would also
like to know if I should get a second opinion, because it seems
like the same fucking hurdles again, with an unending waiting game
A-fucking-GAIN. A small part in me is thinking maybe you hoped too
much, maybe I developed too much attachment to this diagnosis and I
really don't have it. Any advice is welcome! Thank you for reading
my ramblings! Love to you all!
41:58 Hello. I am 24 with autism. I
also have a neurodegenerative condition that causes me
near-constant migraines and also seizures sometimes. I deal with
mystery body issues too like weakness and pain. You can imagine
this life has made me very resilient, but I am not able to be
independent. I can't work, I make a little money here and there
selling art or nudes and stuff lol, and it's enough to take some
weight off of my partner. I also do most of the house work and
stuff, which I feel is fair and I don't mind it...I do prefer it to
be done my way anyways. More comfy that way. But some days I'm much
more sick than other days, and I'm having a meltdown inside my head
and want to scream and cry for help but my Masking Level is Way Too
High and so I just carry on. On the inside, I'm wailing, crying,
wanting to die but my mask filters it out and so trying to express
this pain to my partner or family or friends but I don't think they
get it. They don't realize that if I'm "saying" I'm not okay and if
it reads like a not-okay lvl 3/10 that I'm already at a 9/10 and
just don't seem like it. I'm highly independent of spirit, and I
don't like asking for help, and I especially have a hard time
asking for help because it never seems like there's a "good time."
I try very hard to respect my partners stress (he's ADHD and
bipolar and I admire his resilience) because he supports both of us
and I don't want to pile more on top of him. Do y'all ever feel
like this mask you've made to maintain function is actually
detrimental? Do you ever want to just have a full-blown autistic
meltdown, panic attack level, rocking back and forth, expressing
thoughts of suicide just to get those inner thoughts and feelings
your mask usually filters away, out there? Sometimes I feel like
that would be the only way to express truly what's going on inside
of me, and how severely I need help. Asking both for advice and
solidarity.
49:06 I told her that I've suspected
for a long time that I have autism, but I'm 33 years old and have
never been diagnosed. When I was a child, I was diagnosed with
ADHD, however. She asked me why I thought I had autism, and I
expressed a number of my issues: Hyperfixations/Obsessions,
difficulty reading body language and tone of voice, hard time
making friends and difficulty flourishing in social settings, being
too blunt, taking things literally or being unable to read the
underlying context of someone's words or actions, sensory
processing issues, overstimulation, and burnout etc. After I
expressed this to her, I told her I'd like to get a diagnosis but I
wasn't sure where to start. She immediately told me that there was
absolutely no world in which I would get a diagnosis at 33 years
old, and that she didn't personally think that I'm on the spectrum
because I'm 'very verbal' and able to express myself. I'm DFAB
(born female) and I thought that was exactly why we have a harder
time being diagnosed on the spectrum than DMAB people? We're tend
to (but aren't always) better at masking. It actually kind of made
me pretty angry that she dismissed me out of hand so readily, when
this is something I've struggled with my entire life. It also runs
in my family, I am not the only person with these tendencies in my
family. TBH she has done this with things I've actually been
diagnosed with before seeing her. She has dismissed the idea that I
have schizoaffective disorder, even though I have been on an
antipsychotic for 8 years and was initially hospitalized in 2014
due to a psychotic break. She's also dismissed the idea that I have
C-PTSD, even though again, I've been diagnosed with it. It always
seems vaguely petty when she disagrees with me about this stuff,
maybe she just feels like I'm talking down to her, I'm not
sure.
54:30 Help dealing with food texture
sensitivity
Hi, so, for all my life I’ve had food texture
sensitivity, specifically with a LOT of vegetables and seafood.
Even if I love the taste, I hate the texture. Honestly, I’m so sick
of it. It has negatively impacted my diet so much, and the only
advice I’ve ever been given is to “just get over it,” and to force
myself to eat things till I like it. I’ve tried eating things
prepared differently, and in small quantities in food, but I react
so poorly that I’ll almost puke at the table, or it will bring me
to the verge of tears. It’s so embarrassing having to order
something without any vegetables, or just basically eliminating
entire sections of menus because of it. I want so badly to eat
healthy, but it’s so hard, and living on a college campus meal
plan, I practically live off the grill items, and have gained so
much weight. Is food sensitivity really just something I have to
force my way through and be miserable with? Any advice would be
greatly appreciated. Edit: I would like to add, I’m on a college
meal plan, so if I try something, and don’t like it, I really can’t
get something else, and end up not having that meal. I also do not
have a kitchen in my dorm.
I only eat milk and biscuits (sometimes cereals) and I
gained weight. I don't know how to stop this! I don't even see
other foods as foods anymore, but rather items that are not
supposed to be eaten, like a jar of body lotion or a bag of
pencils. I live with my parents and I have food but I open the
fridge and my brain sees no food... I don't understand why! It's
been more than 2 months since I slowly started to replace every
meal with milk and biscuits and even though I know it's not ok, I
can't stop. Do you have any idea that might help or know any food
that by itself is a meal, but it's healthier than milk with
biscuits that I could eat everyday and slowly get rid of this
biscuits addiction?